when you want to be closer

Have you ever noticed that, no matter how much you may miss someone at any given time, you always want to be nearer when they're going through a trying time (surgery, death of a loved one, hard times in general)?

Absence does make the heart grow fonder, but it seems that trials make the heart grow "fonderer"... those trials make the separation that much harder to bear.

What makes us, as humans, need to be near someone we love who is hurting? I know there the whole "we're human, we have the capacity to love and the need to nurture" answer, but is there something else? I can see a commercial on TV for the "Sponsor our Children" organizations, and my heart will ache for the people in the commercials. But, normally, once the commercial is off the screen (or I'm just plain distracted by something else), those people are completely out of my mind. Yet it seems that nothing can remove someone I know from my mind when they're going through something that may put a strain on their day-to-day life.

Why is it that some people can ache for people they don't know... ache enough to leave everything they know and love to help care for these people, to show them the only love they may ever know? Why is it that, for some people (sadly, myself included), we get caught up in the whirlwind of excitement that comes with sponsoring a child we've never met, but once it becomes part of everyday life, we tend to put that on the back burner? I'm terribly guilty of this, no matter how hard I try to stay excited about it.

But I've gotten off-track.

I've noticed since moving away from my family/loved ones that I miss them most either when I've just left them or when I know I'm going to see them soon. This time that missing them seems almost unbearable. My days are brighter because I know I'm seeing Adam and my family in almost less than 2 months, but they are also a little darker (at the same time, strangely) because I know that no matter how much I want to be with them now, I have to wait.

What brought on my writing this? Well, I'm sure Adam won't mind my telling you... he's getting his wisdom teeth out tomorrow. They're all impacted. I would give anything to be there with him, to try and help him feel just a little better when the pain starts. I know I won't really be able to do anything to help, but for me (and maybe this is selfish), just being there, sitting in a room with him would be better than the options I currently have.

At least this is the (hopefully) only surgery that I won't be able to take care of him afterwards. I look forward to the day when I'll be able to drop anything to be with Adam, my sisters or the rest of my family & friends when they're going through a rough time.

Yes, I do want to be closer. Much closer.